were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
