I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
