drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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