So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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