we made out on top of his cat.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
