I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Send help, water and tortillas.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
