Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
