i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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