but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is the high leading the old right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
