Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
