after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
