"it" just moved
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
