You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
