Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
they need to just BURY HIM!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
