it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
