the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
