So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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