I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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