I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He kissed a someone with a penis
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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