If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
