Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm passing your future prison.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
