Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
