I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
