we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
