Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
