Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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