I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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