i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
