You made me cry and you don't even care
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
