you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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