so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
