We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
