Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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