Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Congratulations! We have a period
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