you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
