You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
