were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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