Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
