So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
