do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
