Where are you?
In a non slutty way
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
