If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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