no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
