well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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