he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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