hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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