FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
