I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
