I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
