Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
