You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
