pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
